Today I met Howard again. He could smile and use appropriate facial expression. He is still handsome. He has no words.
I first met Howard in his home. He was alone, apart from the cat. His wife was at work. He was not. Prior to his diagnosis of dementia, he had been a top engineer. Since diagnosis, he had attended regular social support groups and sat on service user committees.
He was suggested to me as a person who might benefit from a sustained cognitive programme.
I took Organisation of Dots assessment task. First I needed to establish his baseline.
He had lost the ability to join the diagonal of a triangle. I taught him to do it. Again. A mere trifle for an engineer, to be able to join two dots to make a diagonal. For him and for me, an enormous effort resulted in new learning. We had proved something to each other. Howard was still able to learn. He could forge new neural pathways.
It took every ounce of effort on his part, and tremendous determinatioin to succeed. He succeeded.
His words were faltering as he led me to the door. With deliberate and rather formal tone, he said " you are the first person who's actually done anything about ...... " there was a break as he waved his arms in a searching manner ......"this"

What we had done together was not accommodate dementia. We had tackled dementia. We did not win the war, but we did win a battle. And it felt so good.
Sadly, I only worked with Howard once more. My employment changed. I moved on.
Today, I had the chance to tell him that his words to me were the inspiration I needed to train as a trainer in the cognitive programme.
I thanked him. He smiled.